My Strained Relationship with Software Development

I wrote the original version of this piece, last year on Medium. This is an expanded and less guarded take.

I didn’t want to study software engineering in college. I first wanted to study English literature and drama. That wasn’t an option at home. So, I looked at the other things I had dreamed about since childhood – architecture. I put together a portfolio and applied to Bartlett School of Architecture in London. They hid the rejection letter from me and told me no. So, I fought them and the first compromise was computer-aided product design. I just wanted some art in whatever I studied.

There was none of that. It was all math, physics, and science.

Continue reading My Strained Relationship with Software Development

Show Up Every Day

I watched this video of Seth Godin yesterday, talking about rules he lives by. One of them is to blog every day, not because you will garner millions of pageviews or loyal followers, but because that’s how you develop your voice. You blog because you blog, not because you are doing whatever it takes to bump your stats.

It echoes Neil Gaiman in his commencement speech Make Good Art. You make art because it’s what you have to do to exist, rather than a project for the sake of a project that needs to go online and be promoted and be noticed and be shared until you catch a break.

Both videos have cut through a lot of my recent vacillating about blogging and making art in general.

So, here I am. Writing just for today. And making art.

A first stop-motion film

I uploaded a film today to Instagram, my first ever cinematic piece and my second ever completed project. (My first was a documentary.)

Today’s film is my first ever stop-motion piece. It’s the 7th episode in a comic series called Colories. Check out the whole series on my Instagram feed.

#colories ep7 I did #comics #stopmotion #film #shortfilm #shortfilms

A post shared by Mina Demian (@minadimyan) on

This incredibly simple tutorial got me from raw footage to finished clip in about 45 minutes.

Concept

I was given a little rubber duck at a recent hackathon. Leaving it on my desk at work for a few days brought about some ideas. What if I could do something with this duck? Just anything?

I started taking single photos of the duck in different scenes. Much inspiration and debt is owed to my friend and consummate artist Morne’s Putdownness series.

Last week, I noticed some other figures on my coworker’s desk. I had been exploring the themes of loneliness, solitude, and mental health in recent episodes of Colories.

Shot over last night and this morning at my kitchen table, I used my Nikon DSLR on a monopod. No editing or post-production was performed on the shots.

Notes

I used the camera flash as a way to convey what was happening in the duck when he saw the figure. I thought it was a simple way of expressing something visceral and powerful.

The hollow and vacant look on the duck’s face is rather haunting. It would be interesting to expand on this further in a later film.

I wanted to make this film quickly. Should I had more time, I would have figured out ways to manipulate the figure’s arms.

Reflection

This is such a powerful medium. So much can be expressed with so little. It’s all about simple ideas and equally simple execution.

My Complicated Relationship with Writing

I’ll spare you the platitudes of how life has been so busy, or I’ve been through so many changes, or any of that. I haven’t written in a long time, here, on this blog. The only reason is that my relationship with writing is complicated, not in the way that Facebook has now appropriated, but in that it was a non-relationship. Complicated could point at how I carry writing on my arm, as a trophy wife, but at home I beat her to death by neglect.

I didn’t write that novel I announced with much fanfare on Medium and here. I have been preoccupied with discovering who I am. Yeah, not rediscovering, but discovering.

I’m working on not killing you anymore, honey.

There will be no promises or announcements, no lofty goals or projects. I hope that there will be a public reconciliation with this thing I love and discard so much, writing – the closest I’ve ever been to a real relationship.

A Mind’s Narrative Before the End

I see nothing but a closed door,

The people inside
have strangled me.

I regret not stabbing myself
the first time around
the forgettable fart
that I am

Oh, death
Come to me and hold my hand
Let’s go to your place
I know the walk of shame

My death will
sweep in more worthy life
…..
…..
….
There you go.
Open the door
I see the staff
Now, impale me
And let me exhale
all the death inside

….

..
.

This poem was first published on Invisible Illness and is part of a series called ‘The Suicide Diaries’.

How to Medicate

Wherever I go,

Which ever passport I carry,

No matter which accent I speak with,

No matter what God I believe in,
I’m a sandnigger to people.

Inside

Stab me
I won’t hear the skin punctured
Hold me
The smog inside dulls my skin
Talk to me
The noise inside strains you to a drone
So bury me
Let me lie as I’ve lived
If you kiss me
Let me say:

I couldn’t feel your lips.

This poem was first published on the online publication Invisible Illness.

Posted in Poetry by minademian

For Two

There was a cruel cackle
and a raucous roar
as I slayed my winnowing, wailing child
for two, the broken and the lucid

There sounded a cruel cackle
and a raucous roar
as I burned a poor, pure man at the stake
for two, the broken and the lucid

There blew a cruel cackle
and a raucous roar
as I held myself haughty hostage
for two
I, the broken and I, the lucid

This poem appeared first on the online publication Invisible Illness.

I Live Here

Descend down the stairs
Keep to the right
The walls breathe rot
a broken lamp on the left

The geyser sputters ice
There is no shelter for visitors
There are no smiles for visitors
The heating’s cold

This is despair
I live here
Mind the gap
and don’t slip on my ice

This poem appeared first on the online publication Invisible Illness.